Posts Tagged ‘Love’

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Love is the third emotion explored by Robert C. Solomon and his described as the most favorite of our positive emotions.   But again, Solomon is going to understand love as not thing that happens to us but an engagement with the world and a series of choices.  He notes that love is not only the discovery that another person is loveable but it is the bestowal of virtues that “make a person valuable to us” (27).  Surely there are situations that are beyond our control in partnership.  Given that caveat, it is equally true that when love endures it is because we have made the choice to move forward with an imperfect and at times even crazy partner.

Solomon notes that fairy tales ending is really the beginning of love.  For it is after the hero and the heroine are joined and riding off into the sunset that the real work begins.  And by real work, I mean real choices.  Solomon’s lecture implies that love has more to do with the lover than the lovee.  Additionally, our ability to engage critical thinking about our choices and our willingness to learn and adapt (when the situation is not an abusive one) may be the strongest patterns of behavior in long-standing relationships.

The irony is that within a loving relationship there will surely be times when we don’t feel in love at all.  Indeed, other emotions arise like fear , anger, shame etc.  Those, seemingly antithetical emotions challenge and critique love.  If we hold them in tension with love, they provide a path….even if it is  sometimes a narrow path, forward.  An active love is dependent upon the regular challenge of antithetical emotions that, like a good workout in the gym, strengthens our choice to continue the task of loving.  Then, with serendipity, we receive warm and wonderful moments of reward that even if they are brief run deep like a spring fed well and we can return to them to be nourished.

Process theology asserts that Our Creator imagines many wonderful possibilities for each of us.  But as we live imperfectly and narrow our possibilities and potential, God moves courageously forward with us….choosing to love us.  As faithful creatures, outside of abusive relationships, this might be behavior we would want to discipline ourselves toward.


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