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Posts Tagged ‘firstpreswaco.org’

pentecostOh Lord we feel the pain of all that perishes and dies.

We suffer and it feels as if your will may be turned against us.

Even in our suffering, we will not fear change, for Christ  is the agency of Creative Transformation.

Heavenly Host, we feel the advent of something new.

We groan inwardly and outwardly to discern what it is. We suffer and it feels as if your will is breaking through us.

Even in our suffering, we will not fear change for Christ  is the agency of Creative Transformation.

Mysterious Holy Spirit, sustain the dance between our intuition and reason.

We suffer to rationalize one and to fully embrace the other.

Even in our suffering to understand, we will not fear the continual birth of your church, for Christ is the agency of creatively transforming all toward your wisdom and way.

Amen.

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headache

After some years of pretty stiff headaches, I have speculated ad nauseam about where they might be coming from….genetics that I cannot escape…a small collection of cancer cells…deviated septum, too much weight, not enough sleep etc.   Arriving in Waco it was at the top of my list to get to the bottom of my headaches.  So, when I talked to my doctor in Waco I was surprised (many of you may not be) that he prescribed not a medicine but a visit to a local physical therapist.

Arriving for an evaluation, it did not take the therapist long to determine that my headaches were classic descriptions of stress to 2 or 3 of the cervical vertebrae of my spinal column.  The therapist said to me “you have been living with 10 lbs of weight extended out in front of your spinal column.  We need to pull your head back over your spine for your headaches to go away.”  Hmmm.  Getting my head closer to my backbone.  Now that has me thinking.

I guess it might be true that my physical ailment could be likened to a dilemma within national life.  That dilemma might be characterized as jutting our head out and ahead of where our strength is.   We jut blame about our circumstances against  the national government.  We allow our critical thinking to jump from our local place to national programs like welfare or national methods of taxation.  We project dilemmas upon people who are very distinct from ourselves, imagine their solution and then say to ourselves “If only they would behave this way the world would be a better place.”   We extend our judgement way beyond our imagination.   I have contributed to this national problem.

Getting ahead of myself is something that comes pretty easy to me over the years.  In my teenage years, I got ahead of my self in assessing the world and all that I might be powerful enough to affect.  In my twenties,  I got ahead of myself in assessing social and organizational problems and the “fixes” to them that could be applied (now I understand quite artificially applied).  In my thirties, I got ahead of myself in anticipating others criticism of me and trying to perfect myself before anyone could criticize.  In my forties, I get ahead of myself in trying to give advice to my children instead of asking them questions that will facilitate their own self discovery.

The physical therapist is helping me to modify my posture.  This is a remarkably difficult task, but a task to which I am committed.   I don’t want to get too much distance between my intellect and my courage.  Each time I sit down or stand still, I will be re-positioning my head over my spinal column.  Each time I engage my relationships, I will be re-positioning my sense of self over a genuine curiosity and love for those things given into my circumstances by God.   Each time I engage my citizenship, I will be re-positioning my imagination for America by problem solving in Waco.  

I don’t like headaches.

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Weight Watchers tells me, “Count your points.”

Points are a way to anticipate how the consumption of food finds body mass and becomes weight.   The goal is that the body weigh less but not nothing.

Points are a hassle.  The counting of points requires attention if not mindfulness.  The counting of points can consume a day.   So after three weeks of refusing, (and I do have regular times when I refuse to count) I will start counting points midweek when it seems too late to do so.   Not only for my body but also for my soul.

I will count the points because I am not a good judge of the weight I throw around.

The points counted provide me a better sense of the weight of myself.  Of course, I do not just consume food.  There is an invitation to consume life and its experiences.   Those, too, need counting.  For some experiences “cost more” to consume than others.  Again, I am not good a good judge of the weight I throw around unless I am mindful of what I am taking in.

So in my forties, after consuming a lot of junk, I have grown weary of it.  I simply don’t consume the fast or process foods  as much as I used to.   This habit was a long time in coming.  Synchronizing the body and mind is years of work.  Funny, I thought my mind was ahead of my body.  When in reality, my body was the laboratory for my mind to learn the method that would also have a terrific spiritual benefit.

In my forties, I can also say that I have consumed a lot of spiritual junk as well.   Again, an expensive way to consume resulting in a weighted experience that I am tempted to throw around as I relate to others.  I used to take in and digest experiences that are the spiritual equivalent to junk food.  This I do not do anymore.  Rather, I savor what is fresh, life-giving and full of possibility.  This is not always comforting ingestion.  Painful experiences can be full of possibility.  This is not always self-focused ingestion.  How I treasure feasting with others as they celebrate their power and their empowerment of others.   Gorging no longer works.  The ingestion of what gives life and is robust with possibility requires the homage of careful breakdown upon the palate of life.  These are my best prayers….the digesting ones that never find adequate words.    Such a spiritual diet leaves me ready to “weigh in” confidently.

What is life-giving, fresh and full of possibility  is not expensive to consume.  The expense is in their breakdown, digestion and assimilation into my life…..as fiber to my soul.   Take, eat, this is my body….freshly broken,  full of possibility and life-giving.     You will not throw your weight my child, you will use it to carry my yoke.  

Jesus and weight watchers?  Well, for me anyway.  After all, he loved to eat.

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