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Archive for March, 2013

headache

After some years of pretty stiff headaches, I have speculated ad nauseam about where they might be coming from….genetics that I cannot escape…a small collection of cancer cells…deviated septum, too much weight, not enough sleep etc.   Arriving in Waco it was at the top of my list to get to the bottom of my headaches.  So, when I talked to my doctor in Waco I was surprised (many of you may not be) that he prescribed not a medicine but a visit to a local physical therapist.

Arriving for an evaluation, it did not take the therapist long to determine that my headaches were classic descriptions of stress to 2 or 3 of the cervical vertebrae of my spinal column.  The therapist said to me “you have been living with 10 lbs of weight extended out in front of your spinal column.  We need to pull your head back over your spine for your headaches to go away.”  Hmmm.  Getting my head closer to my backbone.  Now that has me thinking.

I guess it might be true that my physical ailment could be likened to a dilemma within national life.  That dilemma might be characterized as jutting our head out and ahead of where our strength is.   We jut blame about our circumstances against  the national government.  We allow our critical thinking to jump from our local place to national programs like welfare or national methods of taxation.  We project dilemmas upon people who are very distinct from ourselves, imagine their solution and then say to ourselves “If only they would behave this way the world would be a better place.”   We extend our judgement way beyond our imagination.   I have contributed to this national problem.

Getting ahead of myself is something that comes pretty easy to me over the years.  In my teenage years, I got ahead of my self in assessing the world and all that I might be powerful enough to affect.  In my twenties,  I got ahead of myself in assessing social and organizational problems and the “fixes” to them that could be applied (now I understand quite artificially applied).  In my thirties, I got ahead of myself in anticipating others criticism of me and trying to perfect myself before anyone could criticize.  In my forties, I get ahead of myself in trying to give advice to my children instead of asking them questions that will facilitate their own self discovery.

The physical therapist is helping me to modify my posture.  This is a remarkably difficult task, but a task to which I am committed.   I don’t want to get too much distance between my intellect and my courage.  Each time I sit down or stand still, I will be re-positioning my head over my spinal column.  Each time I engage my relationships, I will be re-positioning my sense of self over a genuine curiosity and love for those things given into my circumstances by God.   Each time I engage my citizenship, I will be re-positioning my imagination for America by problem solving in Waco.  

I don’t like headaches.

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organizeIt is true for me that any thoughts of my mind are directly affected by the organized state of my surroundings.

Further, the more organized my surroundings, the more I feel ample space.

Into such space, I spill my thoughts that have been carelessly tossed into the bucket of my brain

Within such space, such cluttered thoughts enjoy stretching and spreading beyond their impatience to find their place.

They allow me to …arrange them with love….rearrange them offensively and then a playful arranging….

An irony for me that organized space allows for the joy of disorganizing and reorganizing my most important space of the mind. Discovery.

Am I alone in that my creativity is dependent upon organizing closets, drawers and desks?

 

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